|
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
ROVER GROUP
THE RETURN OF BERT ADONIS
LSgt Barton arrived in Iraq 17 ½ stone, looking very
similar to a prize Spanish Bull. However, over the
past 3 ½ months he has trained extremely hard, lost
weight and improved his stamina all in the name of
LOVE.
LSgt Barton – ‘BERT’ to his mates is now ready to
return home to his lovely wife Helen with an ADONIS
like body, PETER STRINGFELLOW like suntan and IRAQI
WATER BUFFALLO like head, BERT ADONIS.
Throughout the day leading up to his R and R flight
BERT ADONIS kept demonstrating his new love making
techniques, getting more and more excited as the day
pasted by. BERT ADONIS was seen smuggling an apple
pie into his room the afternoon of his flight home.
The time came for BERT ADONIS to depart the Shatt Al
Arab Hotel for the Airport not before giving the
Rover Group a final demonstration of his hip
thrusting techniques.
Now at the Airport unknowing of the wind up that is
coming his way BERT ADONIS is queuing at the Check
in desk. Sgt Fenwick cleverly despatched an
undercover agent (aka Shabba) to liaise with his
long time friend Sgt Al Mason (Movements SNCO Basra
Airport), the wind up was on.
Sgt Mason made his way out from behind the check in
desk and shouts in a hesitant voice ‘Is there a LSgt
Barton here?’ BERT ADONIS hearing his name struts
forward manly and acknowledges Sgt Mason, who
continues on ‘could I have a quiet word please
mate?’
Once alone with the ADONIS Sgt Mason carries on: ‘I
am sorry about this mate but the flight is full, so
we did a draw from a hat and your name came out. It
looks like you will be flying tomorrow. If somebody
doesn’t turn up then you will be able to get on but
don’t hold your breath. Sorry mate.’ BERT grabbed
his bags and went and sat in the corner.
Word was now getting around why BERT was sat in the
corner and in good squaddie tradition the jibes
started to flow – ‘they can’t let you on the plane
because of the size of your head’, ‘what are you sat
there for Cow Head?’ ADONIS now had the job of
contacting his wife and giving her the ‘bad’ news.
Also in this sad time he disappeared for 20 minutes
(wonder if he was practising his hip thrusts).
Obviously it was all just a joke and Sgt Mason
gladly let him on the plane once he had sweated for
30 minutes and everyone else had checked in. The
ADONIS got to practise his love making techniques
after all.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
No 1 Company
Al Amarah
Sitting in 50 degrees on a typically hot and dusty
day in Camp Abu Naji, it is easy to forget that
Number One Company began its attachment to the
Battlegroup back on a cold, dark January morning in
Tidworth. Although certain events during the
pre-deployment training stand out, particularly the
Public Order serials, it now seems a lifetime ago
that the Company were ‘enjoying’ the gypsy like
existence of the first three months of this year:
Lydd, Rype Village, Caerwent and the all too
familiar delights of Salisbury Plain. However, we
were more fortunate than most, since many companies
are not offered the opportunity to train with their
host battlegroups and only meet up once they arrived
in theatre. The fact that we spent those first three
months together meant that not only did we have the
opportunity to get to know people in the Staffords,
but they became accustomed, if not entirely
comfortable, with the Blue-Red-Blue approach to
life.
The Company were equally fortunate in assuming
responsibility for Al Amarah from No 3 Company Welsh
Guards, many of whom we knew from previous courses
and postings. It was very much a case of ‘in at the
deep end’, with the Company’s Advance Party
deploying on a Search and Arrest operation into Al
Amarah within days, and indeed such was the pace of
life across the whole Battlegroup that more than
once people were heard to question “when the next
OPTAG serial was due to take place”. It quickly
became apparent that this was to be a tour unlike
many others: no steady routine or pattern, but
rather the need at all levels to adapt to meet the
ever changing pace of operations.
Although multiples assumed responsibility for
specific areas of the city, each nicknamed to
reflect the general atmospherics (‘Peckham’ and
‘Brixton’ quickly living up to their reputations),
all had to familiarise themselves with the layout
and key personalities. Operations, particularly at
night, soon became focussed on deterring the rocket
attacks against the camp, and it was on one such
operation that Gdsm Wakefield was killed.
Following an IED attack, the patrol made great
efforts to save his life against seemingly
overwhelming odds: poor radio comms, a blown tyre.
Sadly, despite their best efforts, he died from his
injuries shortly after being flown back into camp.
His loss naturally hit the Company hard and he will
be sorely missed by both friends and family. However
the spontaneous demonstration of support which the
Company received during the repatriation ceremony
was a testament to the cohesion of the Battlegroup,
and helped everyone resume their normal duties and
focus on the task in hand.
The Company settled into a rotation that saw two
multiples patrolling at night, two conducting
daytime patrols and the remainder either manning the
QRF (Quick Reaction Force) or IRT (Incident Response
Team). This pattern of life was maintained for the
next few months, with multiples switching tasks
every three days. Meanwhile, back in camp, the
Company Sergeant Major lost no time in transforming
the Company areas with the help of miscreant
guardsmen and industrial supplies of Blue-Red-Blue
paint. The pace of life was busy, but local
knowledge and links developed with local policemen
paid dividends over time, and the multiples were
able to report various finds in the wake of rocket
attacks. However, Gdsm Fox’s discovery of an
improvised claymore during the course of normal 5
and 20 metre checks stands out, as it was later
assessed that an RRW patrol had spotted a possible
firing party in the area. His actions may well have
averted a lethal attack.
At night the multiples developed a ‘leapfrog’
technique to offer mutual support and give us an
advantage of unpredictability. Following an
unsuccessful IED attack against Lt Hodge’s multiple,
the insurgents had clearly not counted on another
multiple being in the area, and received something
of a nasty shock when Sgt Howe’s multiple rounded
the corner, and having identified the firing point,
engaged the insurgents.
Other operations at night involved cooperation with
the Tactical Support Unit and in particular their
SWAT unit which had been specially trained by the
Americans in Baghdad. No one could doubt their
enthusiasm, although initially certain amendments to
their drills had to be encouraged: it is not always
a good idea to drive past the target, with everyone
hanging out of a van, stereos blaring. However such
teething troubles were soon overcome and their
professionalism increased with time, and a little
gentle encouragement. Joint operations always ran
the risk of compromise and often the target itself
as not the main concern, but rather the routes in or
out.
The chance of ambush was always high, and following
the deaths of 2Lt Shearer, Pte Hewitt and Pte Spicer
in mid July, the decision to carry out all movement
in either Warriors or Challengers had wide reaching
ramifications for Number One Company. Although the
lack of Warriors had freed us from the burden of
track maintenance earlier in the tour, this decision
effectively prevented the Company from deploying
from camp except as passengers. Therefore
responsibility for Al Amarah was handed over to C
Company, and the multiples split between B and C
Companies, providing dismounts for their operations.
Meanwhile Company HQ focussed on preparing for the
forthcoming elections.
The division of the Company was a blow to all of us;
we had all looked forward to conducting the tour as
a distinct entity within the Staffords Battle Group,
especially after the death of Gdsm Wakefield, but
the guardsmen are adapting to the new situation with
their usual down to earth attitude and good humour.
Indeed, many of the senior NCO’s are dusting off
their Armoured Infantry skills, untouched since the
Battalion was in Germany, and all appreciate the
fact that the level of technology the terrorists
have reached makes the use of Snatch untenable. Soon
after this, the Commanding Officer and Regimental
Sergeant Major came up from Basra to express their
support and admiration for the job the Company has
done in Al Amarah, and the way they have carried
themselves.
We continue to play an important role in the
proactive stance the Battle Group has taken towards
the threat we face, and we will continue to strike
at the small minority of violent men that make this
corner of Iraq a dangerous part of the world. The
summer months bring their own challenges, with
daytime temperatures regularly exceeding 50C, and
Number One Company will prove they have the cool
heads required in this delicate situation.
Lt Biggs
No 1 Company
Al Amarah
1 Staffords Battle Group
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Number 2 Company
Shaat Al Arab Hotel
The Ensigns discuss the
events of the past month:
Number Two Company
Update through the medium of conversation!!!!
The Cast
The
Ensigns: 2Lt FGC Johnston
2Lt LE White
J10A: Lt JDM Durcan
The Major: Major J Mayhead
The Legend: Company Sergeant Major Sheard
Lucky Eddie: Sergeant Pickersgill
J10B: Sergeant Gill / LSgt Goldthorpe
J30B: Sergeant D Morrell
Bradders/Company Second in Command: Captain J
Bradford
Q
Bloke: Company Quartermaster Sergeant Haimes
Health God/G2/Tealeaves/Intelligence Officer: Colour
Sergeant Rowley
The Watchkeeper: Captain N Rendall
2Lt
LE White and 2Lt FGC Johnston, the two Ensigns
currently serving in Number Two Company of her
Majesty’s 1st Battalion Coldstream Guards
are currently serving in deepest darkest Basra,
Iraq. Whilst going about their daily task of
generally chinning it up they bump into each other
completely by accident in the Company Ops room of
all places.
LE:
“Ah hello brother ensign….what”
FGC:
“Hello you old chin how the devil…?”
LE:
“Absolutely Spiffing, just been out on patrol.
Dreadfully hot isn’t it? Fancy a brew?”
FGC:
“What….Brew…marvellous. Earl Grey?”
LE:
“Of course…Thompson?!”
Gdsm Thompson:
“Yes sir?”
LE:
“Fetch me a brew will ya… and one for FGC here as
well.”
Gdsm Thompson scurries away with an air of someone
who is on the Queen’s business. No one will stop him
from getting those brews to his beloved platoon
commander! Meanwhile, the Ensigns feeling a little
out of depth in the
ops room, retire to the
Company Garden to recline in the shade and generally
stay out of harms way. Whilst settling outside in a
pair of wonderfully presented, hand crafted, white
plastic seats they suddenly hear a whoosh from the
corner of the garden. On turning round they spot the
“Legend of Leeds” attempting yet another shot on his
man made driving range.
LE:
“Hellooo Company Sergeant Major. How goes the
Legend?”
Legend:
“Just getting my swing back in before a bit of R n
R!!”
FGC:
“Splendid..what…what’s this I hear; Health God
dipping into the Muffins yesterday lunch hey?”
LE:
“Really..Good God! G2 eating carbohydrates…shocking”
Legend:
“I know I haven’t had a muffin in the four months
that we’ve been here!!”
The
Company Sergeant Major leans his golf club against
one of the palm trees and heads off towards the Ops
Room.
LE:
“Oh I say are you off?”
Legend:
“Aye sir, some of us have to work around here!!!
Anyway have the manning to plan for tomorrow. I’m on
the fourth edition already and I know it’ll change
again by ten tonight!!”
LE:
“Right you are Company Sergeant Major”
The
Legend melts into the Ops room just as Thompson
trots through with two highly polished Styrofoam
cups of steaming hot Earl Grey Tea. After taking the
cups and thanking Gdsm Thompson, LE turns to FGC….
LE:
“Damned hard work keeping this manning from falling
around our ears”
FGC: “Yes luckily the Legend has it well in hand”
FGC
casually pulls a King Edward Cigar from his top left
as LE gently lights his pipe and starts to puff
away.
The Rover Group.
LE:
“What a month July has been. Have you seen LSgt
Bumby’s tan? He has turned orange!”
FGC:
“Yes the tanning team seem to be doing quite well,
our Mortar attachments have introduced naked tanning
for the all over effect.”
LE:
“Well they certainly don’t do anything by
halves…what”.
FGC:
“Now what’s this business about you cutting about
trying to stop the Iraqi Army shoot half of its
recruits on a recruiting day the other week? Sounds
awfully dangerous..what”
LE
shifts in his chair and a glaze comes over his eyes
as he casts his mind back to that fateful day when
over 3000 Iraqi males turned up for a recruiting day
only for it to turn into a potential public order
serial with the IA using 7.62 as their weapon of
choice.!!
LE:
“Yes could have been a dark day but for our steady
hand to calm the situation.. J30A and J30B commanded
by my illustrious Platoon Sergeant, Sergeant Morrell
moved down to Purple 4 by Al Mina Port alongside the
Rover Group commanded by our fearless leader; The
Major! On arrival we found ourselves stuck in
between the IA, who were trying to drive the crowd
back by firing just over their heads, and a rather
disgruntled crowd who had been up all night waiting
to enlist and had been now told that there were
limited places. Some of these poor chaps had
travelled for miles. It took the best part of the
morning to sort the situation out and disperse the
majority of the crowd.”
FGC:
“It certainly has been a month for incidents, what
with the attempted rocket attack from Al Fahir and
then the 10A and B callsigns cutting around after
that explosion down at Green 19 the other day when
that Artillery callsign was hit”
LE:
“Yes I was in depth for that. Lt Durcan and LSgt
Goldthorpe were the inner cordon. Did a bloody good
job not to let that snatch get towed away and sold
down at 5 mile market…what!”
FGC:
“Yes that’s not far from where lucky Eddie’s
callsign was blown up a couple of months back. How
is that artillery chap who got hit?”
LE:
“I hear he is on the mend. Luckily he was wearing
the new body armour..!”
The
warm wind picks up and gently blows in the
intoxicating scent of the Shatt Al Arab river. In
the distance a personalised truck horn can be heard
as it rattles across the bridge on Cigar Island.
FGC:
“I say what a splendid bash old Durcan’s Birthday
was the other day…looked particulary dashing in his
new dish dash. Shame old Raley wasn’t there to see
it”
LE:
“Yes, I gather he has been posted to somewhere north
of the Watford gap. Catterick I think.
FGC:
“I am sure he will be inspirational to the trainee
Guardsmen”
Early Morning Boat Patrol.
LE:
“Old Jamie did look very Arabic. You sure he hasn’t
got some middle eastern blood in him?”
FGC:
“Who knows. He took to it naturally enough.”
Captain Rendall, newly arrived from Catterick
appears at the door, in shorts, a t-shirt and his
trusty IPOD attached to his ears. He hums to himself
and looks around looking for some form of escape
from the Ops room to which he was chained when
Captain Bradford escaped on leave. The Ensigns look
at him in wonder just as Tealeaves trots in to
relieve him for lunch.
FGC:
“There goes old Tealeaves”
LE:
“Yes I wonder what the morning brew brought in from
G2 …what!”
The
Ops room door closes just as Tealeaves is making
some comment about buns of steel and the need to
squat to a dazed Captain Rendall.
LE:
“So what’s next on the cards for Company Sports?”
FGC:
“Glad you asked old boy. Turns out the next major
event will be the 10 km run that’s been organised.
More to the point, the competition between two of
the company competitors.”
FGC
pauses to allow for his last drag on the King Edward
which is now down to its last smouldering inch.
LE:
“Well? Confound it man don’t leave me on
tenterhooks, who are these well oiled running
machines?”
FGC:
“In at 14 stones on a diet of 60 cigarettes a day
and sporadic runs we have Gdsm Ward. He’s training
himself. A man so dedicated he has attempted to give
up smoking. His only problem as he puts it, is that
he isn’t a quitter.”
LE:
“..and the other?”
FGC:
“In at 17 stone and under a strict training regime
run by the Legend we have LCpl Cochrane”
LE:
“You mean the storemen of Number Two are out to
prove their sporting prowess?”
FGC:
“Indeed and it wouldn’t be complete with out the
watchful eye of the Q Bloke who will be there to egg
them on”
LE:
“What about this association football that the
Company had been indulging rather successfully in
the last months?”
FGC:
“Well, brother Officer, this has been a tough one as
I am under the impression
that the Q Bloke has had an awful lot of trouble trying to pry the Legend
away from his mirror in July.”
LE:
“Oh, I see. Presumably he is the Power to the Punch
then…..what?”
FGC:
“Not so old chap, this strange game they call soccer
involves all of the players on the games field.
Players such as Gdsm Burke, Gdsm Newton and Gdsm
George have all added to the success rate..what!”
LE:
“Now FGC, old boy, to the future. I hear that we
have an exchange Officer from Australia, or some
other part of the Commonwealth due to arrive
shortly.”
FGC:
“Yes, from what Number 7 Company say, he is rather
punchy…what! I believe his name is Lt Tom
Williams.”
LE:
“Ah yes, well I am sure he will do just handsomely.”
FGC:
“Indeed!”
LE:
“Wonderful, it seems that everything is turning out
well!!”
FGC:
“Absolutely old boy. Only two months, two pay days,
roughly ten Saturdays and a few patrol rotations and
we shall be back in old Blighty chinning it up at
the 151st on the Kings Road…. What!”
LE:
“Oh for a large gin and tonic.. well there’s nothing
for it lets go to lunch.”
With
that the Ensigns stand and head towards the hotel
and into another month of mishap and adventure in
Basra, Iraq!!!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
No 3 Company
Old State Buildings
NUMBER THREE COMPANY: JULY-AUGUST 2005
Number Three Company is under new ownership.
Temporarily at least, the leash of the Spotty Dog
has been passed to Major Thurstan whilst Major
Sergeant catches up on a spot of sunbathing at home.
Next month, the arrangement will become permanent as
Major Sergeant moves to Brigade HQ (where rumour has
it there is a swimming pool). That is, of course, if
Major Thurstan doesn’t realise first what he has let
himself in for…
Old State Building remains a riot of fun – the rest
of the Battle Group don’t quite realise what they
are missing. A quick glance at the graffiti
thoughtfully applied to the sangar logbooks will
reveal the desperation of every member of the
company to obtain an extension into TELIC 7. As
ever, there is always the occasional black sheep,
and prominent amongst those has been LSgt ‘Des’
O’Connor, who greeted the news that he is going home
in ten days’ time with an indecent glee verging on
smugness. Even the assurance that he is doing so to
spend the winter months running up Welsh hills and
sleeping in puddles on PSBC has failed to dent his
enthusiasm. Strange man.
‘Company Quartermaster Sergeant Major’ Jones,
standing in briefly for CSgt Monks proved that it is
possible to stay awake in the stores, to the disgust
of the Drum Major who was looking forward to a
fortnight off to recover from R&R. Instead he has
found himself spending hours with Gdsm Parkin
tipping fuel into our ever-thirsty generators.
Parkin’s return to the Company was attended by much
speculation as to the cause of his R&R brush with
the law. The most popular rumours suggested
involvement with radical Islamic organisations, and
serial bigamy. Sadly, he had merely been rude to a
police constable unsympathetic to his ‘emotional’
state (not unlike Lt Currie during one of his
fraught SSR surges), and therefore robbed us of our
shot at News of The World immortality for another
week.
Breeding amongst the rear-based domestic supporters
of Number Three Company continues apace, with the
latest addition being a daughter to Gdsm Matthews
and his wife, to whom we extend our congratulations.
LCpl Bramhall shouldn’t be far behind, and has
planned R&R to encompass both birth and wedding!
Those we have welcomed back to the Company include
LCpls Bennet and Wall, both recovered after sick
leave. N20A and Lt Blake are back in the fold, much
to their disgust, and Sgt Bicknell’s N20B detached
in their place. N30B have returned from a happy
month with A Coy, to be replaced by Lt Lock and
N10A. His cheerful reports from what he describes as
‘the land of milk and honey’ (the NAAFI?) rival Sgt
Roberts’ happy smiling face whenever the inevitable
surge descends on him…
According the Company Sergeant Major’s ‘Chuff
Chart’, we now have 73 days to do. That’s only a
little bit more than ten weeks, and after all, who’s
counting? Certainly not the watchkeeper. We don’t
like daylight anyway…
Right that’s enough from Captain “Trigger” Foinette
here’s a quick run down from the multiples:
Capt
‘Trigger’ Foinette
3 Company
......................................................................................
20A
Having spent the last three months at Basra Palace
it came as a surprise to find that we Having spent
the last three months at Basra Palace it came as a
surprise to find that we were being given a one way
ticket back to planet Coldstream. We touched down
late in the night to find that we were indeed on
another planet and what we came across frightened
us.
We were back in the bosom of Number 3 Company in Old
State Buildings (OSB). The CSM initial brief
included the word AGAI nineteen times! We were
scared. It is, however, good to be back among
friends, the pace of life is frantic and we are
still finding our feet. You certainly feel that you
earn your money.
Lt Blake
3 Company
................................................................................
20B
Due to the sudden departure from Basrah Palace
and the role of Op Damascus by Lt Blake’s 20A, I
found my self being sent to fill the position. A
huge benefit of being here is that the British are
generously allowed to use the American welfare
facilities in their sector; these include the cinema
with a range of film nights such as John Wayne,
murder mystery and thrillers, all viewed with a free
supply of pop corn. There is an outstanding fully
air conditioned gymnasium with a huge range of
machines and free weights, where our two Jamaicans
can be found flexing in the wall mounted mirrors on
a regular basis. There are a number of volleyball
courts for those Top Gun moments and a sand filled
football pitch, where our team won the monthly 5
aside competition. The sheer size of the palace,
with tarmac roads allows for dust free running, and
we have made use of this with early morning PT
sessions. For the braver there are regular poker
championships and horse shoe throwing competitions.
It is not all fun though. Alongside our Op Damascus
framework, being Op Con A Company Stafford’s, we
assist in their patrol matrix as much as possible,
in the short time we have been here we have assisted
in the CRG cordon, a surge op and some framework
patrolling.
A large influx of people to the Palace has meant
that our accommodation has been cut in size by a
third, and now resembles our old room in OSB. Living
on top of each other with no storage space at all.
But on the whole the men are enjoying life at the
palace and make best use of the facilities when time
allows.
Sgt Bicknall
3 Company
...............................................................................
30A
The Corps of Drums continues to flourish. We are
operating as an integral multiple, under the guise
of N30A. LSgt Browne has just departed on a
hard-earned R&R fortnight, having kept the multiple
expertly administered for 4 months. LSgt “Quarter
Tour” Fitzgerald takes his place as Multiple 2IC,
which should keep him in theatre for at least the
next 2 weeks. Over the past month or so we have re-roled
as 3 Coy’s SSR Team, conducting 5-6 eight-hour
surges to IPS stations each week. Morale has
remained high in the multiple over this period, with
the Drummers often sharing a laugh with the
policemen. In return, the policemen often seem keen
to share more than a laugh with Dmr O’Neil, his
angelic looks getting him unwelcome proposals on a
daily basis. Dmr Corbett keeps up the hard work
maintaining the vehicles, while Dmr Blakelock
thrashes himself around the gym in preparation for
the Drill Course. Meanwhile Dmr Day, not known for
outward displays of emotion, continues to grin about
Sheffield Wednesday getting promoted.
Lt Currie
3 Company
..............................................................
30B
Within the period of 05th July till the 05th August
has seen us operating with A Company the
Staffordshire Regiment, this for us was a nice and
well deserved break for the multiple. To the
delights of LSgt Appleby and Donaldson the Barrack
Guard was a treat to what they have experienced at
Old State Buildings. Whilst experiencing the reserve
days, where most of the multiple had the day off, we
were kept busy with patrolling the hard done areas
of the Hyannyah and the Jameat and also having the
delights of the most famous Op Clever this was a
morale booster for the lads within the multiple. We
experienced a couple of incidents with A Company but
the CRG contact was the one where reality hit home
to the boys, this was a very long operation where we
found ourselves on the ground for a good 8 hours,
however this was a very well ran operation where the
lads returned to the hotel for a well earned rest.
We returned to OSB on the 05th August where we saw
the unfamiliar sight of our Operations Officer
Captain Clive, he greeted me with the delightful
news of “Sgt Roberts get your men sorted you are out
on patrol within the next couple of hours”. As you
can imagine this went down as good as a lead balloon
as the tasking was the delightful Op Bugle tasking.
However the lads got sorted and like usual they got
on with the task ahead and done a good job. LCpl
Barnes and his fellow snipers have also been kept
very busy with a lot of sniping tasks, which has
kept him happy as he is known as the grumpy one
within our multiple. Gdsm Griffiths has found
himself on the sick for quite a while, where he got
tackled by LCpl Delaney`s girlfriend in the Battle
Group football competition and ended up with ripped
tendons in his ankle, this as you can imagine made
us have a good laugh with the rest of the blokes
about that incident. The multiple has now settled in
again with Number Three Company at OSB where the
Company Sergeant Major is cutting the heal with the
lads about long sideburns and the state of the
floppy hats, however the lads again are maintaining
a very high standard within our AOR and finding our
old friends on the streets again. But be aware
Number Three Company glorious N30B are back in town.
Sgt Roberts
3 Company
.............................................................................
40A
For our sins we find our selves on the second tour
of OSB with a few changes here and there. Firstly we
would like to say a sad farewell to Lt Carnaghan who
has led the way and shown us the light for the first
three months of life in Iraq he has gone to spread
the gospel and to help guide those up the far north
in Al Amarra. We would like to say a big hello to
Drum Major Shanahan who has kindly stepped in to his
shoes (more pushed) until the return of Sgt Bagnall
who is currently on holiday in the Shibiza sunshine.
Congratulations to Cpl Werret who has picked up his
much sought second and now has to actually work for
a living.
Note: The Drum Major would like to express his
gratitude to the powers that be for giving him the
opportunity to soak up some day light and to stretch
his legs.
We are currently in our third week of rotation and
have settled in (again) with no problems at all.
The AGAI Sniper has managed to control his trigger
finger and as yet not been able to locate priority
targets to the delight of Pte “look I was standing
up asleep in the sangar I must have been tired”
Huyton.
The Drummie has had a few problems in retraining his
driver to actually turn left when he says left
instead of right and to turn right over the bridge
instead of turning right before the bridge. (it may
be a rumour but the Drum Major may of even tied mine
tape to his drivers wrist to aid him in which
direction to turn)
On a short journey up to the Shaat on a much needed
admin run we were all given our various tasks and
Cpl Werret was kindly asked to pick up the “FRAGO”
from the BG Ops Room. On entering the Ops Room young
Cpl Werret marched up to the Ops Room CSM and
confidently said “Excuse me sir I have come to
collect the FROG for OSB” which concluded in witty
comments and slightly red Cpl Werret bugging out of
the ops room rapidly with the said item under his
arm.
All the soldiers in the multiple are working
extremely hard and are refusing to be broken by the
ops officer and his magic pencil. This being our
last time at OSB we look forward to returning to the
Hotel and wish 3 Company all the best with the
remainder of the tour.
DMaj Shanahan
A Company, 1 Staffords
...........................................................................
40B
After two weeks R and R I rejoined my platoon down
at OSB; for our second stint down here and to my
surprise not one of the blokes had yet dropped a
clanger!
I remember coming back on the plane dreading the
second chapter of the AGAI sniper but to be fair to
3 Coy, WO2 Jones was more than happy to point out to
me, that A coy had AGAI’D more people than he had,
but sadly all the lads at OSB think he’s telling
porkies. We were also happy to see the return of
Capt Clive, as it was 40B who casevaced him to
Shaibah, it was a close call; those donuts nearly
killed him. On a serious note, the blokes are glad
to be back down at OSB it’s been good working with 3
Coy and seeing a different AOR. Not much has changed
down here since April (That’s including the ‘menu’
Chef).
Finally we would like to apologise to WO2 Jones for
eating his birthday cake, LCpl Bostock said if
there’s anything he could do to make it up to you
just ask.
Sgt Long
A Company, 1 Staffords
.................................................................................
Regimental Aid Post (RAP)
The Medical centre staff or regimental aid post,
has had a busy tour so far. We have medics attached
to No 1Coy – LSgt Clay – in Amarah, as well as LSgt
Wescombe at the Shat with No 2 Coy. Not forgetting
LSgt Packham with 3 Coy here at OSB.
The RAP lost the Doctor Colonel Bonnici early on
into the tour; he eventually took over as Bde Senior
Medical Officer at the more luxurious APOD. He will
be sorely missed by the RAP staff as well as the
rest of BG headquarters, his rapier sharp wit and
amusing anecdotes will be missed by all.
The rest of the medical centre staff Sgt Price, LSgt
Dick, LSgt Browell and Gdsm Holman were forward
based as a “forward Resuscitation team” at OSB. They
have a pretty busy time seeing many patients,
getting fully involved with No 3 Coy Guard duties,
patrolling with the call signs and the rover group,
SSR projects, as well as providing emergency medical
care and cover for the routine sick.
LSgt ‘Andy’ “The Reverend” Browell proved very
popular when he won Mr 3 Company with ‘Razor’
Ruddock taking a particular fancy for him, Sgt ‘Ben’
Price has sometimes been at his wits end teaching
first aid to the local Iraqi Police with Mr Currie’s
multiple on SSR.
LSgt ‘Julie’ Dick has been fully integrated into Mr
Lock, and even had to have 5 stitches in her leg,
after falling out of the back of a snatch, while
tending to a casualty, gaining her first Iraqi scar.
LSgt ‘Danny’ “Dogger” Packham enjoys his time
running about as the admin NCO for the Company
Commanders rover group, but particularly enjoyed his
towel being nicked whilst having a shower.
And finally Gdsm ‘Perfect Benny’ Holman, who after
an attachment to No 2 Coy, finally had his name
taken, ending his totally unblemished career.
However, he has remained positive and has thrown
himself into the capstar polishing (brass type not
rusty!) and is ironing the finest creases into his
combats, and still looks the smartest man in Iraq.
Sgt Price
3 Company Medical Sgt
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A Company 1 Staffords
Shaat Al Arab Hotel
1 Platoon
A Coy said goodbye to Lt Mark Carnaghan (OC
1 Platoon) this month as he was shipped up to Al
Amara. Lt Carnaghan has moved to 1 STAFFORDS BG and
the Task force Maysan to take over 7 Platoon, who
tragically lost their Platoon Commander in the
recent EFP attack. Mr ‘Cardigan’ will be sorely
missed by 1 Platoon and the Company and we would
like to wish him all the best for his adventures ‘up
north’. Drum Major Shanahan has now taken up the
reins of Mr Carnaghan’s Multiple when they moved
down to OSB. This is a refreshing change from the
Ops room and he is taking the bull by the horns. Sgt
Bagnall has retreated once again into his comfort
zone of SLB to run another D + M cadre. Rumour has
it that the RRW thought he was part of their
Battalion from the amount of time he spends in their
camp!
Other news from OSB is that LCpl Bostock is thriving
in his new role as an Army financial adviser. Being
so tight that he squeaks seems like an ample
qualification for this new position. He was
overheard advising one new recruit in Theatre, “wear
black boots! Yes! That means you have to polish them
and can claim it back! Pure Genius!”
2 Platoon
F20A thought they were caught up in a special forces
mission a couple of weeks ago when they were tasked
with a rescue mission. A damsel was in distress. Say
no more, 20A are your men. An American journalist
and his Iraqi girlfriend were kidnapped and shot.
The journalist unfortunately died but the woman was
rushed to an Iraqi hospital. Her life was still in
danger and the US State Department wanted her out of
there. F20A were tasked with getting her out of the
hospital into an improvised ambulance (a Saxon) and
into a waiting Sea King. The job was done with the
minimum disruption to the patients and staff. The
woman, although heavily beaten and having a sucking
chest wound, proved to be very brave and hardly
moaned. This was surprising because she had to be
taken down from the fifth floor on a stretcher!
Other tasks for 2 Platoon’s Alpha multiple were an
Eagle VCP patrol and also the recovery of the burnt
out Royal Artillery Snatch from the IED attack at
Green 19. F20B have had a quiet month mainly as they
have been split up due to Sgt Mulingani’s R + R. Sgt
Midwinter has taken up any slack within the platoon
with a busy schedule of maintenance for the Warriors
to keep them in tip-top condition.
3 Platoon
F30A have also had a fairly quiet month this
time with just the usual round robin of patrols,
guard and BG QRF. With 2Lt Cliffe now away on R + R
the Multiple will be disbanded to backfill the other
crews and dismounts for the Warriors. F30B on the
other hand have had quite a busy month. They were
called out on QRF in Warriors to deal with a crowd
of around 3000 who were waiting for jobs with the
Iraqi Army. Thankfully this passed relatively
quietly, much to the dismay of Sgt Hudson who really
would have liked to ‘get amongst it!’
Another situation they were involved in was a
shootout between car thieves and Internal Affairs in
the Jameat. Hearing a shotrep they turned into
Jameat to see half a dozen IPS in plain clothes
blasting away at a rooftop. After challenging the
police to establish their identity, they observed
from a safe distance the wild-west style chase
through the streets of Jameat with guns blazing.
Amazingly, there were no casualties, either from the
police or the thieves!
TAC/HQ
Out and about on patrol with TAC proved
interesting this month. We found that Captain Allah
(Al Quibla IPS) has a magic ring. This curious band
of metal inset with a huge green stone he believes
has the power to stop anything bad happening to its
wearer. He felt safer being alone with his ring than
having 24 heavily armed British soldiers with him.
Well, we all need something to believe in!
Another IPS classic was given to Maj Hadfield from
Lt Muntasser (Al Farahidi) this month. There was a
discussion about body armour and the merits of
wearing it and more specifically officers setting an
example. Muntasser was arguing against it on the
grounds that it is heavy and hot, when the
Commanding Officer walked past wearing his. “See!”
said the OC, “He is the Colonel responsible for all
the soldiers in Basra and he wears his.” Lt
Muntasser replied “Ah yes! But the difference is
that he wears his to save his life, whereas I have
no regard for mine!” What can you say to that?
Lt Bourne
A Company
1 Staffords
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A COMPANY FITTER SECTION, 1 STAFFORDS.
Art Vehs (Tiffy) – SSgt Lindsay Kinghorn
VM extraordinaire – Sgt ‘Taff’ Rees
VM’s – Cpl ‘Hing-me’ McBride
LCpl Ron Corbett
Lcpl ‘Wee Man’ Dickie
Cfn ‘Tourettes’ Kelly
Cfn ‘Baz’ Alwill
Tech / Sparky – Sgt Ben Moles
Armourer – LCpl ‘Sky’ Walker
Recy Mech – Cfn Stu Hendry (what he doesn’t know
about recovery isn’t worth knowing….)
Four months into the tour, and we are well into the
swing of things here in Basra. Currently, A Company
are split between the SAAH and OSB, with Cpl
‘Hing-me’ McBride the vehicle mechanic permanently
based at OSB. His primary role is to act as
interpreter for the large number of Glaswegian
Iraqis that live in Basra, and his secondary role is
to maintain the platoon of A Company Warriors that
are based there. With Warrior patrols out every
night, and the odd scrape or two of civi cars with
the bar armour, he is kept more than busy down
there.
The rest of the Fitter Section are based at the SAAH,
and although we are self sufficient as a Fitter
Section, we do come under the (mis)guidance of AQMS
Maskelyne and his happy band of men in the
Battlegroup LAD (just kidding AQMS!!!).
The Company give us plenty of work with their patrol
program, which creates the usual wear and tear, and
with a constant stream of inspections and
maintenance on the ageing fleet of Snatch vehicles,
there is plenty to keep us all busy. Cfn Hendry is
fast learning to be a vehicle mechanic, as he was
getting bored with the lack of recovery jobs (that
is a good thing!)
We don’t have as much Warrior movement at the SAAH,
however, there still seems to be plenty of work left
over from the last Battle Group, with the crews
getting lots of track bashing experience, and the
VMs loving getting back to “tracks” (wheeled
vehicles are for girls apparently).
However, busy or not, “some things are sacred and
cant be missed” Sgt Taff Rees tells me, as he
settles himself down in front of the TV just in time
for the British and Irish Lion’s tour, Wimbledon,
the cricket one day tests, the Ashes, the Las Vegas
Darts, the Tri-Nations rugby, the World Championship
athletics….
It is not all spanner turning, however, as the
Fitter Section are regularly out on patrol with the
Company, and make up a quarter of the OC’s Rover
Group. Recent surges to the Iraqi Police Stations
have seen LCpl ‘Sky’ Walker become an expert on
AK47s, which he inspects, and repairs if possible;
this is sometimes followed by Iraqi Police test
firing them, usually into their newly built
unloading bays…
The last couple of months will be just as busy, with
constant harassment from the QM(T) about the
Equipment Care Inspection, and stripping all the
best bits off the Warriors ready for the incoming
Battle Group. However, the end is in sight, and
although we have all enjoyed the tour, the quicker
it gets here the better!
LCPL Wright RAMC
On Saturday the 30th July I was crashed out to an
IED incident, with the OC`s Tac which I am a part
of. One of the civilian security teams belonging to
the Controlled Risks Group (CRG) travelling along a
dirt track in convoy were caught by what appears to
be an Explosively Formed Projectile (EFP). The EFP
passed straight through the vehicle’s armour,
killing one and fatally wounding another. As we
approached the scene rumours were afloat of a second
IED which had been detonated killing some children
as well. Not knowing what level of destruction to
expect we arrived on scene and initially joined the
cordon attempting to keep out some over zealous
press and the normal obnoxious children, who despite
all warnings were determined to get close.
The IED had been detonated on a stretch of road/dirt
track that can only be described as desolate, over
looked on one side by desert and 200metres away on
the other side by the Al Quibla estate, separated by
a dried lake of human waste. The vehicle had been
travelling along at high speed when the EFP was
detonated, but it had penetrated the vehicle’s
armour like a hot knife through butter. With the
driver dead the vehicle travelled a further 100m
before coming off the road, hitting a dune, flipping
and coming to a halt facing the way it had had come
from.
The OC took charge of the incident, and we were
replaced on the cordon to allow us to supply
security for the Incident Control Point
Due to the nature of the incident ATO was called and
senior members of their team were dispatched to
gather as much information as possible.
Unfortunately this meant a slightly longer
investigation was required and more time on the
ground. Fortunately nothing else other than a
grenade left over from years before was found. ATO
declared the area safe after a controlled explosion
of the said grenade.
The WIS team went in to try and piece together
whatever intelligence they could find about the
nature of the incident.
Unfortunately, in a bid to get their wounded member
life saving help CRG had initially left the scene
unattended while their QRF were en-route. Some
persons unknown had taken it upon themselves to
liberate the deceased of his personal effects
including weapon, passport and wedding ring so
requests were sent for the IPS, first on scene, and
the local oil protection firm, who provided security
of the road, to come and see us to try and
investigate the stories of looting.
After some questioning and requests sent to the
locals no personal property was retrieved at the
time.
Towards mid afternoon the WIS were winding down and
we were tightening the cordon, releasing callsigns
as and when we could. Eventually it was just us at
the ICP, one callsign on cordon and one satelliting.
We moved up to the location of the vehicle and
called for recovery. Unfortunately due to a
breakdown in communication this was some time , and
was further delayed when it arrived with no truck to
carry away the vehicle.
The only other thing of note before we retired back
to camp was the untimely opening up of automatic
fire from a tribal gathering, presumably in
celebration for something.
It was on this note we left with some bad memories
and no underestimation of the threat facing us in
Basra.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
JULY- SAME DO! DO! - DIFFERENT MONTH!
CAPTAINS’ LOG: Tour Date 010705, Approx 7” long, 3”
round, a light beige colour with the aroma of stale
cabbage and the texture of crunchy peanut butter.
Probably the biggest news of the tour occurred only
7 days ago when “Jerry can Jim” A’Hara openly came
out of the closet. He finally admitted to the
“Palace Posse” that he was………..GINGER!
Shortly after this revelation, I managed to grab a
few words with the newest member of G.W.A, Gingers
with Attitude. “Ginger Jerry can Jim” was quoted as
saying, “For years I’ve been living in denial,
living a lie. I’ve been watching my dark and blonde
haired friends enjoying themselves for years, I
wanted that too! I was telling people that I was
strawberry blonde or that my hair was just sun
bleached, I even tried to dye my hair black once,
but with the size of my nose, the bushy eyebrows and
sideburns, people thought I was Jewish! (Mind you, I
did make a few bob doing circumcisions and
barmitzva’s.) I should have realised then what I was
but I just couldn’t admit it to myself. Just hearing
and listening to Chris Evans on TV and Radio, Mick
Hucknell’s silky music and the velvet tones of
Barbara Streisand should have given me the clues I
was looking for.
I’d like to thank Troopy and Recce for giving me the
courage to “come out”. Just seeing the pair of them
with their copper coloured tops bounding around with
all the confidence of a Duracell bunny, touched me.
I know now, even with my hair colour, I can achieve
any goal I set myself. My only wish is that the rest
of the world sees us Gingers as real people with
feelings too!
“Fat chance ginge!’’
So there you have it, another ginge to infect
humanity, lets just hope that someday a cure can be
found for gingers, either that or they are all
rounded up and executed! Oh yeah…… Jim also admitted
to being fond of males! For which he was duly
stoned.
Ok then, the tour rolls on and R+R (Rest and
Recuperation for the civi’s back home) has started,
and the way everyone’s been talking it should be
renamed B+B (Booze and Bonking). Hell, I know that
with what I’ve got planned I’ll need to come back
from R+R just to get a rest!
So what have the busy boys and girl been up to this
month? All I can say is refer to the first news
letter paras 3+4 then add some FAM Trg
(Familiarisation Training) and that should hit the
spot.
Up at the hotel recently, a strange new creature has
been spotted on and near the Jetty…….RE Divers!
These elusive work-shy creatures are never spotted
in or near the Dive store, oh no, all the humping
and dumping of their lightweight kit (NOT!) is done
by the considerably lesser paid Aquatic Sloth’s.
Only when the kit is laid out on the jetty do they
appear, like Superman, they burst from the nearest
office, telephone kiosk or bush, clad from head to
toe in figure hugging black……….. Gimp Suits!
Occasionally they show flesh, but usually it’s just
a cheap tattoo or two.
It’s only when they’ve vanished below the water, do
they do any work. What that is I have no idea and
you can only guess, probably fondling each others
Neoprene! I tried to guess once and won 25 quid in
the ‘Whiplash Weekly’. At the moment only three have
been seen, but we’re sure there are more out there
somewhere.
Interesting Fact - A group of RE Diver’s together is
called a Depravity! (Well what do you expect in this
heat and dressed like Tory MP’s in a Bangkok
brothel.) You heard it here first folks.
Now, I have some sad news I’m afraid. The troops’
beloved Recce Sgt, ‘Ginge’ Peters has gone rouge on
us or to use the Medical Terminology, Barking Mad.
This sad state of affairs has come about since “Gay
Ginger” Jim A’Haras’ mentor’s shrimping business
went ‘belly up’. It was found that Sgt P or “Ginger
Beard” the pirate as he’s now called, was injecting
the shrimp with the Alcohol hand wash to plump them
up and give them that tangy taste that everyone here
at the Palace has grown to love. I suppose the signs
were there for us to see, but god damn it!
We’re just boat ops! Not friggin’ Shrinks, how where
we to know?
We should have guessed though by the way he met us
at the Palace Jetty and all. He had an eye patch in
place, and spouted off plenty aboot (Canadian word)
Shiver me Timbers and Pieces of Eight? The fact that
he had windlassed a chef by the name of Betty
Swollocks (Ginge referred to her as a ‘Cumly
Wench’), to the bow of the boat, still didn’t cause
the penny to drop, we just thought he was having a
laugh. I suppose it dawned on us that things had
really got out if hand, when one morning with his
skull and cross bones flag flying, and Black Pearl
etched in blood on the side of the CSB, whilst on
patrol he decided that poor Smudges’ Rigid Raider
was in fact a Spanish Galleon and therefore, fair
game. Mind you, I have to admit, Ginger beard was
quite a sight, as he cursed Smudge and ranted about
how he was going to send him to Davy Jones’ Locker!
So, with a Leatherman Wave in his teeth, and while
Smudge was adrift, he rammed and boarded the Raider.
The RRF lads thought better than to confront him and
abandoned ship, while all the time Smudge had the
look of someone who had something rather large stuck
in his posterior.
Luckily, before any blood was shed, the scourge of
the Shatt al Arab River tripped over a mooring line
and knocked himself unconscious. Ginger Beard now
finds himself, bedded down with an endless supply of
Pringles, Mountain Dew and DVD’s (No change there
then). No charges are to be brought against Ginge
because as he’s a SNCO, it was put down to ‘High
Spirits’
That about wraps things up for now, Oh yeah, Smudge
had a bout of the squits and was bedded down at the
Hotel MRS for 3 days. He was quoted as saying,
“Those were the best days of this tour so far!”
Until next time, remember what they say, “NONE
EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!”
DISCLAIMER- Boat Tp’s views on Gingers may not
necessarily be that of the Ministry of Defence.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
C Company – 2 RRF
Basra Palace
Since our last dispatch, the Company has seen many
changes. The Company Sergeant Major has left, a new
Company Sergeant Major arrived. More new faces have
joined the Company as individual replacements,
arriving fresh from the Marching season in Belfast,
looking pale but keen. The temperature difference
between Palace Barracks, Belfast and Basra Palace is
about 30 degrees so no wonder the new guy’s look
like they’ve just opened an oven door. The Basra
Palace cultural melting-pot continues to produce its
fair share of “lost in translation” moments, such as
Lt Harris shaking his head in disbelief as a
Romanian Guard demanded to “see his papers” before
allowing his multiple back in Camp.
The IO nearly created an international incident by
telling a group of Americans that he was just “going
round the back to have a fag”. The Danish continue
to make everyone feel physically inadequate by
having muscles in places where most people don’t
even have places. Fusilier Liote kept his mouth shut
while Officers made fools of themselves speaking
fractured French to the French Diplomat, neglecting
to mention his family’s from Cameroon so he speaks
it fluently. And no-one, absolutely no-one can
understand a single word the Chilean Guards say, in
Spanish or English. Still, it’s amazing what you can
do with broad smile and a thumbs-up.
Minden Day has been and gone, it made a refreshing
(?) change with everyone stone cold sober for the
full day this year.
The Royal Reg |
