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THE COMMANDING OFFICER LAYS DOWN
THE GAUNTLET (again!)
Throughout history, the Officers
Mess have always challenged the Sergeants Mess in various sports and
activities - and most of the time the Officers Mess are Glorious
.......................... in defeat with the Sergeants Mess triumphantly
showing their victorious spirit and determination.
With this in mind, the Commanding Officer decided that he would think of
another sport that perhaps, just perhaps, the Officers Mess would have some
chance of winning. Now, whether or not you class 'Go Karting' a sport
is another kettle of fish but hey, the Commanding Officer decides - the
Commanding Officer gets!
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The date was set and the Sergeants Mess rallied round to find a number of
individuals with 'Stirling Moss' ability - easy, they were just too many
.................... what the Commanding Officer didn't realise is that
Sergeants do quite a lot of driving, where as Officers are 'driven around'
by orderlies and the like - the day was won, taking part was just a
formality!
The teams loaded onto the coach ready with Sergeants Mess Haverbag,
(Sergeants Mess Haverbags have a bar of chocolate in them and not a pickled
egg), and we awaited the late arrival of some of the Officers Mess Team
Players!
On arrival to the Go Karting Location it was found that teams would be spilt
into three or four members and the race would be 'Le Mans' Style, racing for
a said amount of time (about an hour and a half!) and a wheel change pit
stop had to be made during the race.
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It then became apparent that the Marshal that was giving all drivers a
safety brief, recognised one of the team members, who had been down to the
track, the day previous, for a few 'test laps' ...................... the
Commanding Officer sternly denied this!
Everyone was given the chance to have a few practice laps, to get the feel
of the car and track, BUT - all were warned that 'conduct unbecoming a
Coldstream Go Karter' would ensure that the team in question would start
from the 'Sin Bin'. The old marshal geezer that started the race tried
not to get excited due to all but three of the teams were in the sin bin
from the start!
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The race was now on, and apart from some devilishly plans by some of the
Officers Teams trying to put off some of the Sergeants by just being rubbish
it was clear who were the more dominant drivers on the track.
Some plans of some of the Sergeants Team Members to try and 'shunt' certain
Officers were clearly thrown to one side as it was realised that the overall
team performance was being shown live, on screen for all to view - it was
now a race to be won!
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Many black flags, tears, cheese burgers and tantrums flew in the next 90
minutes, and towards the last 10 minutes the eagerly watched results screen
was turned off much to the complaint of many who were watching, until
however, it was found that this was normal form - and kept everyone going
right until the end as no one knew just who was leading. The last
place was never contested as the afternoon saw LSgt 'with my legs - I can
only just fit into the car' Kashula enjoying the scenery and trying not to
get excited, joined by LSgt 'Demon-Des, I want to ram everyone' O'Connor
clearly set out to enjoy the day by any means at all but win!
'....... it became apparent to
'certain' team members just how serious this event had been taken...'
Clearly, as the race was called to a finish it became apparent to 'certain'
team members just how serious this event had been taken. The
Regimental Sergeant Major was even so confident that he was thinking of
leaving his and the rest of the teams coveralls on because the 'winning
photo' would look better!
The Marshal read out the results in reverse order, names were not an issue -
whether or not they were Officers or Sergeants Mess Teams were the BIG
QUESTION.
THE RESULTS
In Third Place
Officers Mess
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In Second Place
Sergeants Mess
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In FIRST PLACE
Sergeants Mess
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So, the Sergeants are again victorious, but credit where credit's due - one
of the Officers Teams did perform an incredibly quick wheel change!
Now, if there was ever a sport for the worst case of mis-match socks and
cords we would have a run for our money!
Written by
A Sergeants Mess Member
Wonder what's in store next?
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